Passive me, aggressive you
What’s the difference between Facebook and Twitter? This isn’t the start of a joke (but feel free to smile wryly).
Facebook is the dinner party you throw for your family and friends. You chat, you share, you get the photos out, you play games.
Twitter is the pub crawl you go on with mates. You bump into people you’ve never met before. You quickly and easily make new but tenuous friendships. You just as easily encounter people and attitudes you don’t like. Sometimes people try to interact but you ignore them. Sometimes you don’t interact at all. You just watch the crowd.
There is something transient about Twitter and while that can be a strength it can be a weakness too.
Just like on a pub crawl, it is terribly easy to get into an argument on Twitter. Before you know it you have a 140-character pushing and shoving match, surrounded by your friends and their friends. Your friends stick up for you. The other person’s friends do likewise.
Where the analogy falls apart is afterwards. On the town, you go your separate ways (the kebab shop or, if you’re unlucky, A & E). Online however, it doesn’t necessarily end there.
I’ve seen (but not been the target of) those so motivated by rage or embarrassment (or possibly damage to already dwindling self esteem) that, to prove their point actual aggression gives way to passive aggression.
I’ve followed (but not been involved in) spats resulting in tweets that are effectively stage whispers: no name and no aim, but directed knowingly.
I’ve read (but not reacted to) blog posts onto which the desire to gain the high ground has spilled (or should that be oozed) from the shorter format.
When did cyberculture infantilise us? How do we let it happen? What makes supposedly sensible grown ups act this way? Most of the time I love Twitter. Sometimes I see stuff and I just want to crack heads together. There’s nothing passive about that.
Your thoughts?
We disagree in life and we disagree on the Internet. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong in that.
What’s tricky sometimes about Twitter is it’s hard to disagree in 140 characters – there’s no room for compromise or acknowledging the value of someone’s different perspective, for starters. It can quickly get more confrontational than the equivalent conversation would in the pub.
Having been around the online block a time or two, I think we all know now that people are meaner online than offline, that people who have invested a lot of time in creating a ‘nice’ virtual persona will tend to take passive aggressive swipes at someone rather than risk compromising that reputation with unpleasantness.
Yes, it looks stupid. Yes, it’s counter-productive. But I can see where it comes from, loads of us do it from time to time, and I don’t see it stopping any time soon.
Best ignore it, let people make their own choices, and get on with minding your own business, in my experience.
Rather than leaving a long comment, I should have just left you this link, one of my favourites about the Internet, EVER.
http://boingboing.net/2008/02/19/xkcd-comic-on-intenr.html
He he, just had to chuckle at Sally’s link there, but I must be missing out on all this trouble and strife. Perhaps I’m just not on Twitter enough to see all the negativity. Frankly it’s all I can do to keep up with my timeline *sighs*. Agree with you though, there’s no need for it. If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it online. Simples.
Online personas allow you to exaggerate yourself, and this has both positive and negative impacts.
Stay on the sidelines, seems to be best way.
Good post chap
I like India Knight’s quote ‘Facebook is full of all the people you went to school with, Twitter is full of all the people you with you went to school with’. Thankfully I haven’t seen too much aggression on Twitter – must be all those alpha males you’re following!
Wish not with. ‘wish you went to school with’. Annoying.
Nicely said. Some of the online comments I’ve seen are horrifying. Where do they get their energy from? People have different personal rules, there are no absolutes but it’s difficult not to assume these trolls have deeper issues.
I must have my head up my arse, because I’ve never seen one row on Twitter. I’ve seen bloggers assasinated and ganged up on for something they’ve written, but never a bad word on Twitter. Must be because I follow such lovely people!! A shame, really, because I’d get quite a lot of voyeuristic pleasure at watching a couple of Tweeters going at it hammer and tongs.
I stay well out. I wouldn’t join in offline so I’m certainly not joining in online. Be who you are is my mantra.
Great post…actually recently I’ve seen some ‘bullying’ on Facebook too. I stand back shocked at times at what people are prepared to say online.
Twitter can help counter loneliness. The diversity you find helps people feel that it’s not just them. That others feel the same.
We need to be connected to others.. Either on a pub crawl or a dinner party..
It’s about being sensible, if you don’t like Twitter .. Don’t bother with it. It should add to your life positively.
Intelligent, creative use of Twitter cultivates social connections and sense of purpose.
The problem with freedom of speech is that some people say the stupidest things. But I suppose they always have. The Daily Mail letters page was once the sole outlet for rantings of the insane but now Twitter has just given them a new outlet.
I’m always the last to know about these twitter run-ins and I kinda like it that way. If there were something going on that I knew about, I think I would steer clear of it. As in real life, I really only tend to converse with Twitter folk that I like and get along with. I think.
Not witnessed much fighting apart from the odd snide comment. Wonder if there’s an equivalent of kicking out time, when people are feeling at their most punchy.
Totally agree with your analogy of the diff b/n fb and twitter – that’s exactly how it is for me. A couple of weeks ago there was a tweet about people who leave passive-aggressive comments on blog posts. I replied to the tweet in a supportive way not having any idea that she was referring to me! We sorted it out in the end with lots of apology on both sides: she was having a bad day/misunderstood my comment; I should have expressed myself better/been more sensitive, etc… But it goes to show how easily it is to be ‘wrong on the internet’ even when you never meant to be.