Disagree!
I want you to disagree with me. I want you to wholeheartedly take an opposite view. If I say black, you say white. If I say bark, you say bite. If I say shark you say, “hey man, Jaws was never my scene, and I don’t like Star Wars”.
Do this for me not because I’m asking you to, but because I want you to say what you think and feel.
The 14th January saw my 2nd blogoversary (thank you, thank you, very proud, etc) and in the past two years I’ve been blown away by the feedback I have received for my writing. The majority of the comments are congratulatory at my style and in agreement with my opinions. Comments to the contrary are few and far between. When they have come I’ve always published them; I’ve never censored an opposing view.
I say this and do this because I believe that to be what a blog is for. My site doesn’t exist to reinforce a personality cult. I appreciate my posts (as with so many of yours too) exist in a blogosphere within a blogosphere, and the audience comes from a relatively narrow blogging gene pool. I also appreciate the blogging communities in which I exist are populated by generous, magnanimous folk who would rather say nothing than disagree or dissent.
Is that entirely healthy?
This question presented itself to me this weekend when I put my foot in my mouth, and then, as is so often the case, tried to remedy it by shoving it further and further down my gullet. I’ll spare you the details, but something I said led me to losing an online follower. They didn’t like what they read and decided they didn’t want to read more. Fair enough. What I said was, to someone who doesn’t know me, uncharacteristic and offensive. I would do the same.
Then, an interesting twist. The former follower wrote a blog post about it. They named no names, nor did they detail what had been said. It was merely “I saw something I didn’t like, and it’s not funny, so there…” followed by a bunch of comments fully agreeing with the blogger’s argument, even though it had been made in the abstract and was devoid of context. I read it a few times, and came to the conclusion this was little more than an attempt at personal reinforcement of a decision. I felt the person was unsure of the courage of their convictions, and had run (with remarkable haste) to the arms of their blog audience for some positive affirmation.
I considered leaving a comment myself, to be the one dissenting voice the post needed, but I’ve been around social media long enough to spot when a terrier has a stick it won’t let go of. An online spat would have been akin to being chased by said terrier on a treadmill while wearing treacle-soled shoes. Thanks, but no thanks.
Instead, I choose to turn this experience into my own affirmation: I will never use this blog to trawl for nodding dogs. I will never use this blog as a safety net underneath the highwire of my viewpoint. I will continue to ask you for your opinions and I will welcome them all. And if you think I deserve to hit the deck, say so.
I should add, none of this applies to readers who genuinely don’t like Star Wars. Every man has his limit…
I’ve never seen Star Wars. I’ve never censored my blog either because everyone’s lovely to me too. My husband has though, but that was to protect another reader who won a design comp and the person commenting didn’t think much of their work. Had it been constructive I think he’d have approved the comment, but it wasn’t it was just insulting. So in that case I think sensoring was right. So there, I’m disagreeing with you, a bit
J x
Two things spring to mind on this subject, firstly the age old “are we Brits too polite and don’t like complaining” cliché. I know this certainly applies to me…if I don’t want to read something, 9 times out of 10, I’ll just think “this is a waste of my time”, and go elsewhere. There are few things that would get me so worked up I would feel the need to rant about it – but I’m aware that’s probably just me, and my apathetic nature!
I suppose the other thing is the number of relatively high-profile spats in the blogosphere over the last year or so (in some cases over seemingly innocuous things), which might put some people off disagreeing. While some people obviously relish a good scrap, I suspect the silent majority probably think twice if they feel they are going to be completely shot down over an opinion…
The way I see it, is each persons blog serves their own purpose. Be it geeing up their yes men, the “you’re so wonderful at everything you do” crew or simply dumping their brain on a page. Like you though, most are probably aware that the Yes men are yes men, and shoot… if that is what they need to get through the day, so be it.
I don’t like Star Wars. At all.
I think the majority of us are too “nice” to leave unfavourable comments. However, I can’t say that I’ve come across any of your blog posts, which merit anything other than positive/affirmative comments.
Well first of all just want to say this is yet another wonderfully written, thought-provoking post. (There goes the ego massage
)
Secondly, I’m sorry. I don’t like Star Wars (don’t block me).
Thirdly, I use twitter for a bit of company, conversation and fun. I subscribe to a few blogs belonging to people who I like how/what they write and they make me laugh or I find them interesting. I’m quite an easy-going, positive person and probably one of those people who will comment to agree or offer opinion but not to disagree. I’ve seen it too often, someone is always waiting to jump in or take offence and before you know it a small scale war has broken out. That’s not what I want out of twitter so I’ll just continue saying lots of nice things
“If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all” my mum always said!
I’ve thought about this all weekend and it’s a bit pointless in trying to “explain” things because of the huge cultural backgrounds involved. (Sorry to sound vague to everyone else.) I think the learning point (that seems to be learnt by everyone about every other week) is that irony doesn’t translate at all without facial expressions and tone of voice to back it up.
Very unfortunate but, have to move on I suppose.
I’m trying to work out which blog post it could be, because I can’t recall you writing anything offensive. Once or twice I’ve mildly disagreed with you, but you’ve written your view so beautifully I’ve forgiven you! As a journalist I find that a large portion of the comments about an article online are critical; some are bordering on offensive. Newspaper readers tend only to pick up a pen (or keyboard) when they’re angry. Which is why I’ve found the blogging platform so refreshing. Everyone (so far) has been so generous. In a way it’s a good thing that a follower has opposed you. Shows that you get people thinking. Only small minds reject a blog, newspaper or friendship because of a single conflicting view. Their desertion is their loss, not yours. You can rile me all you like (you’re so, so wrong about Star Wars), but I’ll still enjoy my visits up north.
You can never please all of the people all of the time. So stop trying.
I also have to agree with “Expat Mum” in the fact that facial expressions are, at best, the main factor with humour and social media doesn’t allow for that unless you twitpic yourself writing your tweets.,,
Congrats on your two year blogoversary, it’s mine this weekend. I think it’s good you have stuck to being you, keep it that way, we love your blog the way it is.
1. Happy Blogoversary,
2. I’ve never seen Star Wars,
3. If I ever disagree with you I will definitely say so. In fact I have disagreed with blog posts before and I’ve never been shy to say so. The important thing is not to do it in a nasty or insulting way. No one minds a different opinion if it’s given civilly. I think some of the problem is when we try to be funny about it to soften the blow and the humour doesn’t come across. So I don’t try to be funny when I’m disagreeing. Simples.
I can whole heartedly say the blog post in question was not written for head-nodding but out of genuine shock. I’ve never confronted someone about what I felt was an offensive comment and not had them apologize.
For the record I wasn’t following you when all of this happened so I didn’t unfollow you, I just continued to not follow you.
Thanks for taking time to reply. I could’ve sworn you were a follower. As for you having never confronted someone about an offensive comment, I have heard different since this incident. But hey, what’s done is done. I do know that if I wrote a blog post every time I read something offensive on Twitter (or anywhere) I’d have a bulging blog and probably no readers.
Rubbish! Ban this filth etc etc etc.
I’ve disagreed with you in the past and you’ve taken it on the chin, so happy blogoversary good Sir and may you continue to entertain us both here and in the Twitterverse. And on arsebook when you can be…..well, ARSED.
I’m confused….it seems like this post is exactly the same type of post you’re responding to. You’re vaguely describing and complaining about something, and then promising never to do it.
I have no idea what all this was about, but I have several blog posts that have vocal people who disagreed, it all adds to the mix as long as there is nobody calling anyone else names.
Star wars I can do. Star Trek and you’re on your own!
Good post, I hate Star Wars by the way but this is good…depends why you have a blog, I mean why it exists, depends what your followers/subscribers want from it…who knows? Good for you…long many your blog exist in the ‘sphere!!
Hmm … came from Hurtled to 60. Blogging is weird, we feel involved in someone’s life, when they blog about every detail. Then a chance comment I trip over on a third blog, makes me realise there is a backstory that I know nothing about. I tend to go with silent disagreement, unless we have a virtual friendship strong enough to take criticism. For my own blog I have deleted just a few comments over two and a half years.